First posted on 15 July 2002 ~ Letting go.

Calmly telling R over lunch that though he may have opted not to break it off - yet - so that he can "think about it", I have begun to think of him as an ex-boyfriend. I still love him, but perhaps, deep as I love, when it is unrequited, the flame of my love dies as quickly.

Or perhaps I am still in denial and to quote SF: "The axe has not fallen yet."

I made some small talk with him just, on ICQ. Friendly but cool - no pangs, no tears, no anger, no desire.He was friendly too - and why not? The one who does the walking is usually the one who has the generosity of spirit to offer to remain friends, right? And he's probably feeling guilty and just trying to keep it "nice" with his gratuitous smiley faces. *shrug* No pangs, no tears, no anger, no desire. Perhaps he is nonchalant and just playing along with the friendly act. *shrug* Why should I care when he doesn't, not anymore.

I am now deleting his name, his tune and the bear logo from my handphone. I will do his photos in my wallet next.

Let go but don't look back.